don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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