biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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