The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
