I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
