You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am one with the molecules
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize