Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
