okay pat passed out under dana's car
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
