i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
