I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
