and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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