i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize