So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
