just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
