He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
