we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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