These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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