Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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