Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize