Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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