Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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