I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
