I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so let's talk penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
