That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
