So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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