We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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