Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
