Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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