maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
