I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
