doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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