Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
