U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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