you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
