it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
