Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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