we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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