Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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