dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize