hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
