omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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