4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
