Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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