I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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