Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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