im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
