we have pet lesbian snakes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I enjoy the company of your penis
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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