From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's never too late to be topless.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
