i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
