Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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