Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
