his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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