u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize