I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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