Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
