Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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