I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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