what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
