May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
