I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
