Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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