There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
