How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
