Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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