Your dad touched me again.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
