What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
