She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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