you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize