I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
