Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
