dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize